In a move that sent shock waves through the state's religious right, Maine Christian Civic League boss Michael Heath confirmed he's putting up a million dollars toward production costs for a sequel to last year's popular gay cowboy movie. Heath, who says the money came from his personal bank account, claims to have had an epiphany regarding his views toward homosexuality.

"For years I've been the biggest queer-basher in Maine, and I've been wrong, Heath said recently. "We...uh, I mean, those people need love, too."

Heath also said he doesn't believe his position as director of the Christian Civic League is in jeopardy because the Bible goes to great lengths to advocate brotherly love.

 

 

MCCL financial director Flaccid O'Toole announced today that he has undertaken an inquiry into a significant shortage of funds in the right-wing organization's bank accounts. O'Toole would not not elaborate on the missing money, acknowledging only that it was in the amount of one million dollars.

     George W. Bush, long known for his diminutive intellect, has embarassed America again. Speaking to British Prime Minister Tony Blair on the last day of the G8 Summit in St. Petersburg, Russia, Bush was heard on an open microphone saying Syria needs to "get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit" in it's current conflict with Israel. Bush then told Blair he'd like to "taste Elizabeth Hurley's crumpet," but was afraid he'd catch something because of her former boyfriend, Hugh Grant's, habit of picking up street whores. Bush also asked Blair if the Spice Girls were related to the Morton Salt girl or adult film star Jeanne Pepper. Less than two and a half years left, folks.

 

 

 

 

 

Fox News offers balanced, unbiased coverage of world events.

 

The death of more than 2500 American sons and daughters in Iraq is a small price to pay to secure the right of the Iraqi people to vote.

 

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Pregnant Anna Nicole Smith knows who the father of her baby is.

 

Israel never overreacts.

 

Hezbollah has never been linked to terrorism.  

 

Terrell Owens isn't the biggest asshole in the NFL.

 

 

 

 

"He said I have to let my herpes sores heal," said the beleaguered socialite. "I guess having sex with someone different every night comes with a price."

Hilton went on to say she will continue to share health care tips with her best friend, heroin addict Nicole Richie.

 

Check out the Paris Hilton link below!!